JOHN FLETCHER FACTS

[Fullback41]

Resident Badass John Fletcher (6'6" 274) has inspired me to start this JOHN FLETCHER FACTS topic. It is meant to be like the Chuck Norris Facts available online. For those who need a little history, John Fletcher got his ring finger on his right hand caught in the first down chains while making a tackle against CSU during his freshman year. He then played the next week against TCU, but soon it was obvious something else was wrong, he ended up have 2 different types of staph infections, and an allergic reaction to the latex bandage. It was then he offered.......Just cut it off, I'll play without it......or something to that effect. Well, the coaches wouldn't allow it and he ended up missing the rest of the season. So that was a freaky thing, but what has me truly inspired is his freakish play on the field last year. So new or old, I would love to hear them, John Fletcher style.

OK I will start it off....

1. John Fletcher frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
2. When John Fletcher does pushups, he doesn't push his body up, he pushes the earth down.
3. John Fletcher has counted to infinity. Twice.
4. Some people wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears John Fletcher pajamas.
5. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for John Fletcher.
6. John Fletcher doesn't wear a condom, because there is no such thing as protection from John Fletcher.

 

[dapokes]

i've met the dude..he truly is a BEAST.. i can't believe he was only a soph this last year!

7.John Fletcher doesn't fear the reaper (blue oyster cult style lol)..the reaper fears John Fletcher
8.They once made John Fletcher toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody
9.John Fletcher doesn't tea-bag women, he potatoe-sacks them
10.John Fletcher is the reason why Waldo is hiding
11.John Fletcher doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives
12.John Fletcher can slam a revolving door

 

[MrTitleist]

John Fletcher once took a piss into a can. It's now called Red Bull.

 

[Fullback41]

14. A solar eclipse happens when John Fletcher stares down the sun......It gets scared and hides behide the moon.

still laughing about the potatoe-sacks......

 

[Fullback41]

15. Old Faithful erupts because John Fletcher wants it so.
16. Devil's Tower was named after John Fletcher's member. It was going to be a life size replica but they ran out of rock.
17. John Fletcher's reach is so long he can touch both endzones at the same time.... War Memorial with one hand and Sonny Lubick field with the other.

 

[Fullback41]

18. When John Fletcher was a baby he boxed Mike Tyson. John Fletcher knocked him out so hard he still talks funny to this day.

 

[dapokes]

so I have a class w/John Fletcher's fiance'..
she said he used to be a qb in high school! and well under 210lbs!

that has to be the most amazing thing i've ever heard!! wow.

 

[Fullback41]

That is amazing! I sure hope he is a cool dude, I would feel like an ass if he flaked out. I am a big fan of some of the other players as well - but the finger thing put him over the top - a real Tough Man thing to do.

Did you know John Fletcher once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming down the road?

 

[dapokes]

she also told me his finger has been messed up (even last season) and his knuckle on his ring finger finally fused back together just recently.. dude is tough as nails and made second team all-american with a messed up finger/hand..something that DE's need the most especially in the 3-4 defensive scheme...

 

[Fullback41]

John Fletcher sleeps with a night light, not because he is scared of the dark, because the dark is scared of John Fletcher.

 

[cbeditor]

Guys, that might be the funniest thread I've ever read. I sat here for like 10 minutes trying to think of one of my own to add to it, and I just couldn't. Keep up the good work.

 

[Fullback41]

John Fletcher coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

 

[Fullback41]

The first dictionary consisted of only 'John' and 'Fletcher'. Other words eventually had to be created in order to describe things that were not, in fact, awesome.

John Fletcher plays ping pong with a medicine ball.

John Fletcher has the ability to kick all forms of ass known to man, 11 forms of ass unknown to man, and 3 forms of unknown ass unknown to Yoda. He uses this ability on an hourly basis.

 

[MrTitleist]

John Fletcher can eat just one Lays potato chip.

If you have five dollars and John Fletcher as five dollars.. John Fletcher has more money than you.

John Fletcher is the reason Waldo is hiding.

John Fletcher can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

 

[Fullback41]

When Bruce Banner gets angry he becomes the Hulk, when the Hulk gets angry he becomes John Fletcher. You wouldn't like it when he's angry.

Sharks don't live in the ocean because they can breathe water, it's because John Fletcher can't.

It's no use crying over spilled milk. Unless it was John Fletcher's milk, then your screwed.

John Fletcher makes onions cry.

 

[Wyokie]

One tiny little question....

Who in the hell is JOHN FLETCHER????!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MrTitleist]

This man will make you cry, Okie. He's the reason you can't sleep in the dark, he's the reason you peak around corners, he's the reason Waldo's hiding.

There are no races, only countries of people John Fletcher has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

 

[Wyokie]

So he's like Chuck Norris.

Norris have similar jokes made about him so......

 

[uhwarrior23]

This is freaking too much. :lol: I think I might die laughing reading this thread!

 

[uhwarrior23]

One tiny little question....

Who in the hell is JOHN FLETCHER????!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently, he's the reason you left Wyoming.