Hilarious! For you non-clicking types...here you go:
"Hi,
I am selling this UNUSED 2009 Roady's Humanitarian Bowl ticket because I would like $5.00 to buy a pack of cigarettes for woman that caused me to miss this game. I'm buying her cigarettes so she can die faster, and stop ruining my life.
Anything over $5.00 I will use to go to Sonic to buy her as much fried cheese as she could possibly stick in the black hole that is her fat mouth. I figure a nice combination of fried cheese and cigarettes should be able to keep her off my back for a little while so that I'm able to enjoy my own life for a little bit.
Any die-hard Vandal fan knows what happened in that game, and to miss it because of this woman is absolute BUL*SH*T
This ticket is in mint condition, as it never saw my wallet/pocket...and now that I have said "mint" this fat cow is wondering if we're going for ice cream.
I am only asking for 10% of the price that I paid to NOT watch this game in person. Which makes sense because this woman has consumed, and killed 90% of what used to my manhood, and all the food in Idaho.
Paypal accepted, but not required. Free shipping! Thanks for looking, and good luck."