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Cornhusker jokes - got any?
- Thread starter WyoBrandX
- Start date
YankPoke
Well-known member
Breaking News!!!
Bo Pelini will only dress 10 players for the Wyoming game.
The rest finally learned how to dress themselves.
If a man and a woman get a divorce in Nebraska are they still considered brother and sister?
Right before the end at Little Big Horn, Custer sent out his scout to get some intelligence on the developing situation.
The scout came back to Custer and told him, "I've got good news and bad news about the situation, General."
Custer said, "Well give me the bad news first."
The scout replied, "Well, it looks like we are hopelessly surrounded by over a thousand Indian warriors and I don't think we stand a chance to come out of this alive."
Custer said, "Oooh that sounds awful. What is the good news?"
The scout answered, "Well it looks like we don't have to go back across Nebraska..
Bo Pelini will only dress 10 players for the Wyoming game.
The rest finally learned how to dress themselves.
If a man and a woman get a divorce in Nebraska are they still considered brother and sister?
Right before the end at Little Big Horn, Custer sent out his scout to get some intelligence on the developing situation.
The scout came back to Custer and told him, "I've got good news and bad news about the situation, General."
Custer said, "Well give me the bad news first."
The scout replied, "Well, it looks like we are hopelessly surrounded by over a thousand Indian warriors and I don't think we stand a chance to come out of this alive."
Custer said, "Oooh that sounds awful. What is the good news?"
The scout answered, "Well it looks like we don't have to go back across Nebraska..
Landlordos7
Well-known member
You can't spell Bo Pellllini without 4 L's.
The Virginian
Well-known member
Q. What does a Nebraska Cornhusker do on Halloween?
A. Pump kin!
Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska?
A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Nebraska? A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Nebraska burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Q: What's the most popular pick up line in Nebraska?
A: Nice tooth!
Q: Why do folks from Nebraska go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 17 and under are not admitted.
Q: Why did Nebraska raise the minimum drinking age to 25?
A: They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
Q: How can you tell if someone in Nebraska is married?
A: The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.
Q: Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over Nebraska?
A: He wanted an academic challenge!
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Nebraska's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: How do you make University of Nebraska cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: If you have a car containing a Cornhuskers wide receiver, a Cornhuskers linebacker, and a Cornhuskers defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Nebraska?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you castrate an Nebraska Cornhuskers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Why did the Nebraska Cornhuskers join the Big 10?
A: Because the Huskers couldn't count to 10 either!
Q: Why does all of the corn in Iowa lean to the east?
A: Because Nebraska blows and Illinois sucks!
Q: Why did Tom Osborne pour his cereal on a plate?
A: He lost his bowls.
Q: Whats the difference between the Nebraska Cornhuskers and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!
Q: Why do Nebraska students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q: What's the best thing to come out of Nebraska?
A: I-80
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of Nebraska?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three University Of Nebraska football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Nebraska Cornhuskers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Nebraska?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the Nebraska Cornhusker die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What is the definition of a Nebraska Cornhuskers virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
Q: What does a Nebraska Cornhuskers fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: What do you call a Nebraska Cornhusker in a BCS bowl game?
A: A referee.
Q: What's the difference between an Nebraska football player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: Did you hear that Nebraska's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: How many Nebraska Cornhuskers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What are the best four years of an Nebraska Cornhuskers life?
A: Third grade
Q: What does a Nebraska native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Nebraska have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q: What do the University of Nebraska and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Nebraska?
A. With a restraining order.
Q. What's the first thing a Nebraska girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.
Q: What do you call an Nebraska football player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
A. Pump kin!
Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska?
A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Nebraska? A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Nebraska burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Q: What's the most popular pick up line in Nebraska?
A: Nice tooth!
Q: Why do folks from Nebraska go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 17 and under are not admitted.
Q: Why did Nebraska raise the minimum drinking age to 25?
A: They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
Q: How can you tell if someone in Nebraska is married?
A: The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.
Q: Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over Nebraska?
A: He wanted an academic challenge!
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Nebraska's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: How do you make University of Nebraska cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: If you have a car containing a Cornhuskers wide receiver, a Cornhuskers linebacker, and a Cornhuskers defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Nebraska?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you castrate an Nebraska Cornhuskers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Why did the Nebraska Cornhuskers join the Big 10?
A: Because the Huskers couldn't count to 10 either!
Q: Why does all of the corn in Iowa lean to the east?
A: Because Nebraska blows and Illinois sucks!
Q: Why did Tom Osborne pour his cereal on a plate?
A: He lost his bowls.
Q: Whats the difference between the Nebraska Cornhuskers and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!
Q: Why do Nebraska students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q: What's the best thing to come out of Nebraska?
A: I-80
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of Nebraska?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three University Of Nebraska football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Nebraska Cornhuskers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Nebraska?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the Nebraska Cornhusker die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What is the definition of a Nebraska Cornhuskers virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
Q: What does a Nebraska Cornhuskers fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: What do you call a Nebraska Cornhusker in a BCS bowl game?
A: A referee.
Q: What's the difference between an Nebraska football player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: Did you hear that Nebraska's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: How many Nebraska Cornhuskers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What are the best four years of an Nebraska Cornhuskers life?
A: Third grade
Q: What does a Nebraska native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Nebraska have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q: What do the University of Nebraska and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Nebraska?
A. With a restraining order.
Q. What's the first thing a Nebraska girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.
Q: What do you call an Nebraska football player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
Top 10 Rejected Slogans for Nebraska Tourism Board
10) Nebraska- we've got gas!
9) Nebraska- more than a football team, we're a whole damn state!
8) Nebraska- on the level!
7) Nebraska- more hills than Iowa!
6) Nebraska- see it all without making a turn!
5) Nebraska- we're on the way!
4) Nebraska- from here you can see a better place!
3) Nebraska- like no place you'd rather be!
2) Nebraska- stop and wipe the bugs off!
1) Nebraska- because the pretty places to the west and north are more expensive!
10) Nebraska- we've got gas!
9) Nebraska- more than a football team, we're a whole damn state!
8) Nebraska- on the level!
7) Nebraska- more hills than Iowa!
6) Nebraska- see it all without making a turn!
5) Nebraska- we're on the way!
4) Nebraska- from here you can see a better place!
3) Nebraska- like no place you'd rather be!
2) Nebraska- stop and wipe the bugs off!
1) Nebraska- because the pretty places to the west and north are more expensive!
COS Cowboy
Well-known member
I laid a few of these on a Husker fan in a VTC today. It was great!
zappinpoke
Well-known member
Who discovered Nebraska? The roto rooter man in Torrington.
SandBarHusker
Member
What do Wyoming girls and a bowling ball have in common? You can put three fingers in them and thrown them in a gutter and they still come back to you.
