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Byu jokes

E

ELKMT

Well-known member
When Sitake gets to heaven or whatever the Mormons call their version of the myth:

Coach Sitake, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around when they came to a modest little house with a faded Cougars flag in the window.

"This house is yours for eternity," said God. "This is very special, not everyone gets a house up here."

The coach felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion that had a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Steamboat flag, and in every window was the UW logo.

The coach looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a good coach. I went to bowl games, sent a bunch of my players on to the pros, and I turned around the entire BYU football program."

God said, "So, what's your question?"

"Well," said the coach, "Why does Craig Bohl get a better house than me?"

God responded, "Oh that's not his house, that's mine".
 
MWC: Knock knock.
BYU: Who's there?
MWC: Conference titles, rivalries, and NY6 bowl games.
BYU: *scratches head in confusion* I don't get it.
MWC: Exactly.
 
Did you hear about the man-eating lion that got loose on the BYU campus? Unfortunately, it starved to death...
 
Three guys in the waiting room of the maternity ward; Baptist, Catholic, and Mormon.

Dr. to Baptist: Congrats, you're the father of a new son.
Baptist: Awesome! That's four. One more and I'll have a basketball team.

Dr. to Catholic: Congrats, you're the father of a new son.
Catholic: Awesome! That's ten. One more and I'll have a football team.

Dr. to Mormon: Congrats, you're the father of a new son.
Mormon: Awesome! Thanks!
Baptist and Catholic to Mormon: Basketball, Football? What?
Mormon: First son, but one more wife and I'll have a golf course.
 
I have a great one.

-Knock knock
-Whose there
-One
-One who?
-Thats how many times Wyoming has won out of the last 11 times Wyoming played BYU in football...

This whole "rivalry" that you guys think you have against BYU confuses me
 
coltonc said:
I have a great one.

-Knock knock
-Whose there
-One
-One who?
-Thats how many times Wyoming has won out of the last 11 times Wyoming played BYU in football...

This whole "rivalry" that you guys think you have against BYU confuses me
Click to expand...
No one said it is a rivalry. Show me one time when someone said it was a rivalry. Don't flatter yourselves. BYU is simply universally reviled (point in case: Everyone, and I mean everyone, at the MWC tourney would cheer for anyone playing BYU everytime without fail). Wyoming just hates you. Nothing more
 
LanderPoke said:
coltonc said:
I have a great one.

-Knock knock
-Whose there
-One
-One who?
-Thats how many times Wyoming has won out of the last 11 times Wyoming played BYU in football...

This whole "rivalry" that you guys think you have against BYU confuses me
Click to expand...
No one said it is a rivalry. Show me one time when someone said it was a rivalry. Don't flatter yourselves. BYU is simply universally reviled (point in case: Everyone, and I mean everyone, at the MWC tourney would cheer for anyone playing BYU everytime without fail). Wyoming just hates you. Nothing more
Click to expand...
giphy.gif
 
coltonc said:
I have a great one.

-Knock knock
-Whose there
-One
-One who?
-Thats how many times Wyoming has won out of the last 11 times Wyoming played BYU in football...

This whole "rivalry" that you guys think you have against BYU confuses me
Click to expand...

Also, this joke sucks. Not even how knock-knock jokes work. Ya friggin turd.
 
I heard that they are thinking about putting a dome on LaVell Edwards Stadium...

It will require a name change...LES will become the "ConDome"....and appropriately so as it is filled with a bunch of d!ckhead$.
 
Did you hear that salt lake wants to host a bowl game?

Yea, the LDS Powdered Milk Bowl.

How do the cougars determine their team captains?

Sunday school attendance and horse shoe tournament... Haka dancers optional
 
coltonc said:
I have a great one.

-Knock knock
-Whose there
-One
-One who?
-Thats how many times Wyoming has won out of the last 11 times Wyoming played BYU in football...

This whole "rivalry" that you guys think you have against BYU confuses me
Click to expand...

And yet here you are not caring


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Policeman walks up to boy mixing stuff in a bucket.
Policeman: What are you mixing there, son?
Boy: Chicken shit and water.
Policeman: What are you going to do with it?
Boy: Make a policeman.

Lawyer walks up.
Lawyer: What are you mixing?
Boy: Chicken shit and water.
Lawyer: What are you doing with that?
Boy: I'm going to make a lawyer.

BYU football player walks up.
Player: What are you mixing in there?
Boy: Chicken shit and water.
Player: What are you going to make with that?
Boy: I guess I'll have to make another lawyer. I don't have enough chicken shit to make a BYU football player.
 
a young Mormon couple decide to make attend their first byu football game. the guy takes it upon himself to teach his young bride the basics of football. he describes the rules, the timing layout, first downs and fourth downs... everything.

after a while, he looks over and asks her "so, whats you favorite position?

she looks over and says "doggy"

he laughs, and says "no honey, I meant whats you're favorite position on the field"

she glances down, watches the field for a bit, the asks "who's that guy that bends over for the other guy?... that's my favorite"
 
how does a byu cheerleader describe her vagina?

dainty, pretty, clean, gorgeous

how does a retired byu cheerleader describe her vagina?

blunderbuss, great expanse, danger! construction zone, marianas trench, the bog of eternal damnation
 
coltonc said:
I have a great one.

-Knock knock
-Whose there
-One
-One who?
-Thats how many times Wyoming has won out of the last 11 times Wyoming played BYU in football...

This whole "rivalry" that you guys think you have against BYU confuses me
Click to expand...

Doesn't matter. Every rivalry gets lopsided sometimes. You guys' decided to bail before you got your asses handed to you. Be pussies you are says Yoda!

We'd be happy to knock the hell out of you - but you bailed a while back when we were sucking. Glad your a bunch of pussies.
 
Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and BYU fans?

A: The litter of puppies eventually grow up and stop whining.
 
Why did BYU football install artificial grass at their stadium?

They were having problems with cheerleaders grazing during games
 
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